I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize