I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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