I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
