Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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