My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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