I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
