You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
