The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
