I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
