you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
