i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
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