She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
