Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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