How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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