i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
