But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
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i drank out of a bidet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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