I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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