Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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