I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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