I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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