Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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