i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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