My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have post one night stand depression
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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