I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
