Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
