I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
