People in love make me want to vomit
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
