Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Never joke about your clitoris.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
