He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
