Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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