Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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