Do you still have your period?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
