Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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