I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dicks are not precious.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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