I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
