So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
