i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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