Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
