Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
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THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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