The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
