That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
