lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night