i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.