Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

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  (616): Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma? http://tfl.nu/rtd3
  Replies (4) Good night (426) Bad night (2378) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.

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  (817): You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target. http://tfl.nu/enj6
  Replies (15) Good night (902) Bad night (3618) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....

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  (403): by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal.... http://tfl.nu/sunu
  Replies (26) Good night (691) Bad night (2871) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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  (979): I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME http://tfl.nu/ljwk
  Replies (35) Good night (913) Bad night (4270) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.

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  (815): Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight. http://tfl.nu/jud2
  Replies (14) Good night (4938) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (956): View more from Texas

  im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.

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  (956): im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober. http://tfl.nu/pinp
  Replies (10) Good night (2565) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.

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  (281): I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged. http://tfl.nu/p1l3
  Replies (31) Good night (7425) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.

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  (229): You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right. http://tfl.nu/bvcn
  Replies (12) Good night (4640) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add

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  (608): Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add http://tfl.nu/yo24
  Replies (6) Good night (2956) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?

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  (570): Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof? http://tfl.nu/enhx
  Replies (11) Good night (2843) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm

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  (678): in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm http://tfl.nu/30ts
  Replies (3) Good night (1804) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".

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  (815): Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime". http://tfl.nu/6eu2
  Replies (3) Good night (2222) Bad night (697)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?

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  (318): So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt? http://tfl.nu/a1yi
  Replies (6) Good night (1236) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.

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  (+44): Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight. http://tfl.nu/uuv5
  Replies (0) Good night (280) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?

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  (507): Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at? http://tfl.nu/qw84
  Replies (7) Good night (386) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt

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