Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.