she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do vagina's smell?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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