i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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