with your own penis?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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