whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
