Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
