the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
