She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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