Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I didn't notice because vodka
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
