How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
