wanna go halves on a baby?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
