A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
