the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
