Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
