my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
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Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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