I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
