he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
