I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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