I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
