My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
